Friday night family follies

A couple of nights ago, a small, warm body crept into bed between me and MrsPal.  Our sneaky snuggler has been mostly keeping to her bed, but once in a while her fears get the better of her.  And sometimes, my fears get the better of me.

A few months ago as my wife lay in a hospital bed trying not to choke on her own vomit I got a call from a friend.

“Pal?  Someone from the breast center just called on MrsPal’s phone.  They won’t talk to me.  What should I do?”

A few days before her infamously complicated surgery, MrsPal took care of her yearly boob-squishing, but the results hadn’t come back before she went under the knife.  As she lay in her hospital bed not recovering, the results became available—sort of.  There was no way I was going to disturb her with anything; we were too busy trying to keep her alive.

I called up the breast center, but predictably they wouldn’t tell me anything (and I wasn’t about to try to explain that we have documents on file for just such a situation; it would have taken too long).  So I called a breast surgeon and asked her to take a look at the films.  There was a mass that had been stable for years, but now it had new calcifications and more films were needed to get a better look.  As my already fragile stomach dropped further I explained my dilemma, and asked if we could get away with waiting a while.  She felt we probably could.

I didn’t tell MrsPal about it.  I kept the mail to myself.  It may have been the wrong decision, but she was so fragile I didn’t think she could handle another blow.  But I failed to cover all my bases: once she finally came home, a registered letter came from her OB/GYN with the details. I explained to her my conversation with the surgeon and we agreed to wait a little while longer while she got her strength up.  Her birth mother died of breast cancer, and in the last year or so, two of her friends have had bilateral mastectomies. This was not a great wait.

She finally got her follow up study yesterday, and I called the surgeon back: it all looks benign, no need to worry.  And I didn’t.  I thought of my little kiddo who loves cuddling between us, who doesn’t deserve any more fear and worry.  I thought of my wife, and how she’s finally dodged a bullet.  And I slept.

10 Comments

  1. Namnezia

     /  July 15, 2011

    Oy. But then things get better, and you appreciate this all the more.

  2. Diane-with-one-N

     /  July 15, 2011

    What a year this has been for your family. I’m glad it wasn’t bad news. Sleep well.

  3. So glad to hear that the biopsy results were nothing to worry about.

  4. Lynda M O

     /  July 15, 2011

    May blessings continue to find your family. Know that you are being held up to the Universal Healing power.

  5. Oh goodness. I’m glad to hear that. It’s a horrible wait 😦

  6. Caro

     /  July 16, 2011

    I’ve seen what a wait like that has done to my mother, so I’m glad things are all right in that regard!

  7. Glad to hear that she got on okay.

  8. leigh

     /  July 17, 2011

    whew. glad that’s all ok. the not knowing totally, totally sucks. and you’ve had enough going on to cause you worry lately!

    and thanks for the reminder to actually follow up on this referral to update my own images, that i’ve been putting off…

    • Yeah, i guess one of the reasons I posted this was to potch other people a little.

  9. Daniel J. Andrews

     /  July 23, 2011

    Glad things are okay. My better half will be getting checked this Monday. She has some sort of growth at the back of her eye which hasn’t changed in two decades, but she gets a yearly check by a specialist to make sure it hasn’t changed. Since cancer has hit several of her family members, killing one to date, we all hold our (metaphorical) breath till we hear nothing has changed. I find it does keep me from taking her for granted though– when she does the little things that annoy me I remind myself that there could be a day when I’d give anything if she would be around to annoy me just one more time.

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