"Dr." Ann de Wees Allen is standing in the way of her own fame

I won’t name the people who tipped me off to this story—no hat tips, no links.  I don’t want to endanger them.  This story may just be too controversial, too risky.  It’s about a naturopath named “Dr.” Ann de Wees Allen.

It’s not that it’s so dangerous to write about naturpaths and their assault on medical science and on logic itself.  But apparently, it is NOT AT ALL COOL to use the name “Dr.” Ann de Wees Allen.  You see, “Dr.” Ann de Wees Allen claims that it is illegal to use the name “Dr.” Ann de Wees Allen without written consent from her lawyers.   I have a problem with this.

How are we to tell the world about “Dr.” Ann de Wees Allen’s amazing accomplishments?  You see, according to “Dr.” Ann de Wees Allen’s website, she is an “alpha scientist”.  That’s pretty cool, so I don’t know why she wouldn’t want people to write things like “‘Dr.’ Ann de Wees Allen is an alpha scientist!!11!!”  In fact, according to her website, “Dr.” Ann de Wees Allen is “in the forefront of scientific breakthroughs” including such things as nanotechnology, “sickle cell polymorphisms”, and, most intriguing, “edible computer chips” (Frito-Lay ™, watch out!).

I think it’s even more important to point out the accomplishments of an alpha scientist like “Dr.” Ann de Wees Allen because she gives hope to budding alphas everywhere.  This hope comes form her ability to be an “alpha scientist” despite a lack of any significant contributions to the scientific literature.  And if we couldn’t write her name, how would we be able to tell anyone that “Dr.” Ann de Wees Allen is the “queen of arginine”?

I can maybe see her being a little worried about idiots though.  There is a website out there calling itself “Ripoff Report” that says some pretty mean things about her.  I’m going to share with you some of those mean things so that you can empathize with “Dr.” Ann de Wees Allen.



See what I mean?  Sure, “Dr.” Ann de Wees Allen may use 26 point fonts on her webpage, but is that cause to use all caps?  But the mean all caps guy did say some nice things about her to:


I really hope that “Dr.” Ann de Wees Allen considers the children, especially girl children who may wish to become the next “queen of arginine”, although that may be a hereditary position. Still, the idea holds.  Her fame and success must not be left unsung.


  1. One of the scientific breakthroughs that “Dr.” Ann de Wees Allen(tm) is in the forefront of is Quantum Chocolate. We need to know more about Quantum Chocolate!!

  2. Yes. Yes we do. And it would be immoral for Dr Ann de Wees Allen to withhold that from us.

  3. Quantum Chocolate? That sounds awesome.

    I assume this is her Cafe Press store: http://shop.cafepress.com/quantum-chocolate

  4. Nathan Myers

     /  September 16, 2010

    I tried, I really tried to find anything unfair in Pal’s treatment of “Dr.” Ann de Wees Allen. I note only that the link to “Ripoff Report” from the word “Ripoff” does NOT IN FACT lead to Ripoff Report, but the link from the word “Report” does, so that’s OK. And, that Dr. Wee is scary-looking.

    If anyone has experience with non-quantum chocolate, I would like to hear about that. All the chocolate I have ever tasted was quantum, through and through, inside and out. Not all of it was good, but “the dark Chocolate Lover’s Chocolate Bar” from Trader Joe’s (“smooth and fruity from the Tumaco Region of Colombia”) deserves mention*. Apologies if you don’t have a Trader Joe’s nearby.

    * I have no affiliation with Trader Joe’s, the Tumaco region of Colombia, or Colombia. Nor with Dr. Wee, thank goodness.

  5. Samantha

     /  September 16, 2010

    Yegods – went to her website, and someone needs to tell her a) lay off the pancake makeup and b) a little photoshopping goes a long way.

    Seriously – not even a Wikipedia article on her? Or did she try and sue the Wikipedia Foundation for it?

    I’m going to have nightmares.

  6. pcncr

     /  September 16, 2010

    I make it a point of principle to never let a medical professional near me unless I can trace their lineage back to the 12th century.

  7. “Past director of the NCI and Johns Hopkins helplines?” No way.

  8. I’d love to hear more about here pico-technology. Since most molecules more complex then benzene reach nanometer dimensions she must be doing some really cool stuff with a couple atoms.

  9. Regular chocolate: If you combine it with peanut butter, it’s delicious.

    Quantum chocolate: If you take bars of quantum chocolate and throw them one at a time at a barrier with two slits cut in it, it will combine itself with peanut butter. Creepy, eh?

  10. Daniel J. Andrews

     /  September 16, 2010

    Just checked her qualifications on her site. Wow! I should see if she does resume rewrites…mine needs a little sprucing up and perhaps a wee bit of the same creative license she uses on hers. –dan

  11. Daniel J. Andrews

     /  September 16, 2010

    p.s. also checked the illegal use of her name. It seems it isn’t so much as the use of her name which is illegal, but the use of her name to promote some type of quack or questionable product. But it is ambiguous enough that perhaps she could sue for use of her name alone…???…so very clever of Pal to use “Dr”. 😉

  12. Completely OT, what’s up with Scientopia today? Half the links don’t work.

  13. OOhhhh, SkinnyScienceEdu! Maybe it’ll help me get back into mah skinny jeans…

  14. All the links should be back up an running. We did some back-end work (OK, Mark did.) I decided to reduce my own blog’s font size because the large font was annoying me.

    • JJM

       /  September 17, 2010

      I don’t think things are fixed. My bookmark of your blog becomes truncated to the announcement that you all have moved, and I have to scroll down to the listing of your blog.

      • whitecoatundergroud.com redirects to this site.
        the true, current url is http://scientoptia.org/blogs/whitecoatunderground. If this isn’t working, lemme know exactly what and how pls. thx.

        • JJM

           /  September 17, 2010

          It seems to have been a local problem. I deleted your bookmark and then re-added it. Now it works. The bookmark URL reads the same. I learned to hate computers in 1969 when Fortran stymied me.


  15. David

     /  September 17, 2010

    Love it. How could great things not come from her, seeing as how she claims to be a direct descendent of King John 1 of England? I looked up a couple of the patents listed, and found them, but didn’t see her name associated with them. For example, patent #No. 255587.

  16. Dianne

     /  September 17, 2010

    Speaking of nutty “alpha scientists”, James Watson being a kook. So, so wrong in so many ways.

  17. idlemind

     /  September 19, 2010

    A web search on her name turns up all kinds of woo, including her entry into the herbal viagra market, a patented NO-enhancer that is “non-cephalic” and “low-glycemic safe.”


    Well, looking at another of the wide network of woo sites with her name on it (this one for an acai berry extract), it appears that it is her private shorthand for something that doesn’t produce a “cephalic phase insulin response.” This term refers to insulin produced in response to the initiation of a meal and is something actually observed in published research. Of course, it is massively misinterpreted and misconstrued in these ads, and the mere fact that she would think that “non-cephalic” would serve as an abbreviation for the absence of this phenomenon indicates an astonishingly profound ignorance of the science involved.

    Or perhaps a term meaning “no head” is a wry reference to the ignorance of her target market.

  18. I could only find two patents, neither of which are worthwhile.

    L-arginine doesn’t work to deliver NO long term. People develop “arginine resistance” (analogous to insulin resistance) because the body compensates for the supraphysiologic levels of arginine being consumed. This is actually bad because the compensatory pathways include upregulation of asymmetric dimethyl arginine which is an endogenous nitric oxide synthase inhibitor.

    It is not illegal to use trademarks, it is completely legal to used them to designate the actual trademarked thing. It is illegal to use a trademark to misrepresent a non-trademarked item as the “real” trademarked item.

    So it would be a violation of trademark to dress up as Dr. Ann de Wees Allen, wear a Dr. Ann de Wees Allen mask and a nametag that says Dr. Ann de Wees Allen unless you actually are Dr. Ann de Wees Allen. So don’t do that.

  19. I think the good “Dr” A** de W**s A***n (just playing it safe here) has a s***w loose.
    or in more technical terminology, she’s “crazier than a bedbug”!

    Not a thing wrong with her ego, however! Healthy as an ox!

    • I think I may see why she’s slipped her moorings:

      Dr. Allen receives 100,000 e-mails per month, and cannot possibly answer them.

      Anybody care to wager how many of those are suggesting some form of psychoanalysis?

  20. Just thought I’d let you know that this entry was fun – I wrote a blog post myself, at harddavid.blogspot.com, that you might enjoy!

    Dr Ann de Wees Allen. Oops. Those damn monkeys are typing again – I just wish they’d write some Shakespeare instead of making silly jokes like this.

  21. Marie Knowles

     /  January 9, 2011

    I was quite pleased to see the blog on Dr. Ann deWees Allen. I think that she is no more a scientist than I am. My opinion is that she is part of a multi-level marketing “business” and using overpriced “scientifically” inaccurate information to bring people into this ponzi scheme. I have put her on the same level as the fake doctor on TV with the bracelets that re-energize you. Scams!

  22. Dr. Livingston

     /  May 11, 2011

    It is most worrisome to see the inaccurate statements on her webpages. In an effort to speak directly, I had my staff contact her husbands manufacturing company, the trusty and nutty unofficial assistant, and the glycemic institute to come up empty handed. Why would a manufacturing company not have a secretary to answer the phones? The only way to make contact is by leaving a message. After several weeks of multiple phone calls weekly, we have determined this is not an open business to the public, perhaps not opened at all.

    Staff, did speak with a lively side kick assistant who states the doc has issues and that is why he is a middle man. Come due lunch with her at her house, and if she likes you she might do business with you. The assistant at the same time offered to make a direct deal with us because ALL her products were licensed to him personally. He infact owned the Chocolate patent. Promises of exclusive licensing with a minimal upfront fee of two million in cash. No checks, no bank wires, no credit cards, only cash within a two week window or the deal would be null and void.

    This is no way to due business. Ladies and Gent’s beware! Do your own research. I can assure you the science is incorrect, and the average person will never know. In her own camp her husband is stepping out with money going to fund his double life, and her close trusty assistant, who was a carpenter prior to becoming her assistant, is doing back door deals and the doctor herself is doing cold hard cash deals only.

    Every red flag is waving. Head the warning.


%d bloggers like this: